Rated NC17. aka: How theater prepared me for real life...

Most of you probably don't know that I'm a born and bread thespian.

The born part? My mother was the biggest and best lier ever. With a poker face to match.

The bread part? I started theater around age 7 (though I did a few shows before that) and continued full time until I was about 16 (doing a few shows after). Total? 42. Some off Broadway shows, some way far away from Broadway shoes. Hell, I've even sang solo in front of President and Mrs. Clinton at the Kennedy Center in DC. What I've learned?

Even when you fumble? Keep going.
If no one can alway remember their lines? Keep going.
Costume error? Maybe you'll make it onto page 6. Keep going.
Clinton keeps his cigar on the other end of the room from you? Keep going.
Things aren't going your way? Keep going.
Fake tears didn't work? Keep going.
Real tears didn't work? Keep going.
Try and act your way out of everything. If that doesn't work? Keep going.
People don't like you? Keep going.
They didn't eat their sandwich after you did unsavory things to it because they don't like you? Keep going.
Cat poos on the carpeting? Clean it up. Keep going.
Lame sex? Use your favorite toy. Keep going.
Food burns in the skillet? Keep going.
Bad nights sleep? Keep going.

And when the day is done? Take a bow and drink a bottle of red wine for dinner. The red wine is only fair, since the mileage on your life isn't tax deductible or reimbursable.

And after all of that mileage from constantly going? We should ALL looking like that brat Madonna.