Speaking of Freaks.....

The theme for next week is --- drum roll please ------- "You Are Not Alone" by Michael Jackson. In honor of our absentee blogger's (mabelsmuse) 18th Birthday.

Just for the record, mabelsmuse is not the freak I speak of in my title.

LaFreak is LaLife....

FINALLY got here, thanks Cooth & kT for your help! Greeley, CO is the LaFreak in my life right now. I've lived everywhere from small town Baker, MT to Vegas & Phoenix, and have NEVER lived in such an unfriendly town. I usually have a friend or 2 within a week, and this coming weekend will be 2 years here & I have not one friend to call if MargoRita (the car) were ever to break down (she won't - good car!), or to have a beer with. (much less kiss!) I've had friends from out of town come visit, talked to people who used to live here, & they all agree - it's not just me. I thought maybe it was the karma I came with - I was basically transferred here by my company to be the terminator & bitch. And I've done it well (if I do say so myself). Seems that isn't it. The glass 1/2 full of this is that I volunteer at the hospital & for the Red Cross & wow - different worlds! FRIENDLY PEOPLE!! I found myself very surprised to see smiles, & think it's pathetic it's come to that. The good thing about the whole move is I'm close enough to drive to see my parents, daughter & son-in-law & OHSOFLIPPINGCUTE grandkids once a month...& my nephews & all of their sporting events are an hour away. This makes life good. When I was working in Phoenix & Idaho, I wanted this transfer to get close to the fam...so always know - the grass may be a bit greener through the one eye, but dammit if there isn't that other eye that shows you the shit & the Le Freaks.....

Le Freak, the saga

There's a woman I've been dealing with at work. I refer to her as The Crazy Lady, but in view of the topic and because we watched a French movie last night (The Dinner Game, FUNNY), she shall henceforth be known as LE FREAK.

It began in October with one of those fantastic phone calls from the General Public that I just LUV. The GP likes to call me and ask very vague question.

Me: "kT, how can I help you?"
GP: "Um, I'd like to know about history."
Me: "Okay. What can I help you with?"
GP: "Well, what about old buildings?"
Me: "What about them?"

and so on for the next 10 minutes or so until I finally determine that they want someone to pay for them to put new vinyl siding on a 1950s tract ranch house that was built on the farm. We don't do that. End of call, disappointed GP threatening that "I pay your salary with my tax dollars." Sorry, GP, my salary comes from an off-shore oil drilling fund that you pay NOTHING into. Oh, and truly? I don't get paid enough to deal with you.

Le Freak has a house. Okay, her old senile mother owns a house. It's old. It may be significant. But Le Freak is more interested in writing a family history than she is in filling out the forms for the program with which I work. This is a weird government program. Reading between the lines? That means that there are lots of arcane rules and regulations that I have spent 4 years preparing for and 3 years studying directly. I am an expert in the program because it's what I'm paid to do for most of the 40+ hours I sit here in my bureaucratic splendor.

Well, Le Freak tells me in our first phone call that she won't need much help -- she's a lawyer and therefore 1) knows everything and 2) knows how to write. Well, I have a liberal arts degree in English literature as well as a liberal arts Master of Arts degree. But I wouldn't claim to know how to write a legal brief. I'm smarter than that.

Since October, Le Freak has become "a barrister." My unwillingness to just pass through work that doesn't meet any of the requirements of the program are killing her elderly mother. She studied abroad, which is supposed to impress me. She regularly fails to grasp the simplest of comments or suggestions. She insists on sending large photo files to my e-mail account well after business hours despite the fact that they close my account by filling and despite the fact that I have repeatedly asked her to stop sending them. (That was after I asked her to send them during business hours. She did try once -- at 5:15 pm. I work plenty of overtime when needed, but as infrequently as possible since I don't get paid for it!) She insists that her ancestors are important. I'm sure they were nice people, but so are most small town folk out here. If she is the descendent of these nice helpful folks, I'm sure they are disappointed.

In one of three e-mails I received today, Le Freak chastised me for a fax that didn't come through on Friday -- because she was home all day. I e-mailed her just after sending the fax Friday morning, telling her to contact me if it didn't come through. She contacted me after 10 pm on SATURDAY to let me know it didn't come through.

I don't work on Saturdays. Do you? (Shut up, Cathy, that's at a different job and it doesn't count).

Le Freak? Is freaking me out. She's one of the unpleasant people that I am going to enjoy watching my review board put in her place. I do know what I'm doing, and life is easier for all of us if you listen to my guidance and ask questions when you need to -- my job is as guide. But when you antagonize the guide? You may get led into Bear Country.

Le Freak

AAAWWWWW- FREAK OUT!

I think it's strange how there are things that just freak some people out and others are not bothered in the least. Here are some things that really freak me out:

Lamisil commericials. That little yellow bug creature is freaky enough, but when he pulls up the rotted, fungus filled toenail....I lose it. When that commercial comes on, I flip the channel. If that sucker shows up on a website - I go to another one.

Snakes. Eww, icky.

Low-flying planes. I live in a flat farm state. Lots of crop dusting. If a field near where I am driving is being dusted....I get sweaty palms, heart beats faster. I can't decide if I should pull over until the plane goes the other way or just drive as fast as I can to get away from it.

Alan Colmes. I just can't watch this guy. He is too goofy looking.

Pineapple on Pizza. Wrong so wrong. Pineapple is good. Pizza is good. The two should never meet.

The First Theme

We have our first theme.....#1 Songs from our 18th Birthdays. Monday we will start our little experiment with "LeFreak". This was the number one song on my 18th, I really think it fits.

Coming Soon........

Starting on Monday, we will be posting the song o' the week. Songs have all been chosen based on #1 singles that "define our lives..." I'm not explaining that, so get over it.

Rules:

You are blogging the title of the song.
Write one post about the title for the week.
You don't need to know the song.
We will try to post a link to a place where you can hear the song, but you don't need to.
Anything goes.
There is no such thing as too much information or a taboo subject.
But? Remember that we have random readers.
For the random readers, if you want to join, please let us know in the comments.

Others, y'all?

The Proposal

Cathy? Couldn't sleep. So she came up with a new blog idea.

Song Titles.

Each month, a theme will be chosen (my favorite proposed theme so far? Song titles that would make good names for a sex toy shop.) We will suggest themes and hope that readers or bloggers will suggest songs that fit the criteria. Each week, a song title will be proposed. Members will blog it. You don't need to address the song, just the title. Hopefully, we will also post links to the song.

If you want to join, drop me a note in the comments.